"The Heath & Tony Show"        Heath Cole        Tony Quincy Email Heath and Tony:  HNT@WFRD.com "Thanks for checking out our online show page.  The following stories were featured on the dates listed below.  We hope you enjoy.  Remember the Video Content on the "Heath&Tony" webpage is in its raw form, and is not edited..."

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Playground Fail!  This slide is so much fun….with doo doo on it! Enjoy!!! ;)   8/23/10

DAMN YOU SHARKTOPUS!!!!!! So Heath has been after this movie ever since first hearing about the latest SyFy Movie.  His quest to appear in, and his eventual filming of, the TV event of the year, Sharktopus!.  Has had him tied up in production for months now... Well, that back-fired!  That’s right, the half-shark, half-octopus, all killing machine will be unleashed on the SyFy Channel this fall from legendary producer Roger Corman, and it will instead feature non other than Eric Roberts!! WTF! How many mouths does the Sharktopus! have? How many hot girls in bikinis will meet their bloody fate by this underwater beast? Has Eric Roberts still got it? Or has his career jumped the Sharktopus!  That’s right, we just went there! Watch the trailer now, then decide if you are ready to go in the water or not.   7/15/10 PICTURE OF THE DAY: Watch out for that Statue!   This is not a good way to start the weekend. Hope yours is better...LOL! 7/9/10

6 Global Warming Side Effects That Are Sort Of Awesome Click Here!! 6/11/10 The 7 Most Impossible Rock Stars to Deal With... Click Here!!  6/2/10   SMOKE EM' - - IF YOU GOT EM' !!! THESE are the first shocking pictures of smoking toddler Ardi Rizal - who throws tantrums if he can't puff 40 cigs a day. The Sun told on Saturday how the two-year-old got hooked after dad Mohammed gave him a fag at 18 months.  Now he weighs 56 pounds and trundles round on a toy truck blowing smoke rings - too unfit to run with other kids. Mum Diana, 26, wept: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Ardi will smoke only one brand and his habit costs his parents £3.78 a day in Musi Banyuasin, Indonesia. Officials have offered to buy the family a car if he quits. But fishmonger Mohammed, 30, said: "He looks pretty healthy to me. I don't see the problem." 5/27/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Earth Day Global warming is not cool. Happy Earth Day 2010!   4/22/10     Harley D. "Bag" Brown For Congress??? What is this all about?  Idaho has the chance this fall to elect Harley D. Brown for Congressman! "Nuke Their Ass, Take Their Gas!"  Take a look at this guy...click here!   4/22/10   Oh stfu Esquire! Esquire magazine has come out with their ‘Women We Love’ issue, with fatty Christina Hendricks on the cover as the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, and at one point they have a 75 Greatest Women Of All Time list. 4/22/10 South Park creators Matt and Trey might be killed for showing Muhammad in a bear suit... Or So They've Been Told...   4/21/10   PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Happy 420   Cheers!   4/20/10   PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Iceland Volcano Iceland volcano in Eyjafjallajokul: 1. Europe: 0. Domination!!   4/19/10   PICTURE OF THE DAY: Drowning You may not want to swim here...     4/16/10   PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Pure Vermont Maple Syrup?   HAHAHAHA!  Nuff Said.      4/15/10           PICTURE OF THE DAY: Bieber's World!   That's right Bieber!  Your world is all about Strippers and Pot! Go Dodgers!!         4/14/10    PICTURE OF THE DAY:  A Storm Is Brewing!   I think a storm is brewing...     4/13/10     PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Cup Check!   This is why Soccer is bad...         4/12/10

'The Hills Have Thighs' and a Little Porn TMZ: If you tuned into Cinemax or The Movie Channel at 1:30 AM to watch a movie called "The Hills Have Thighs" ... you'd expect to see a softcore porn, right? Not the guy who's suing ... James "Bubba" Cromer made a smut-free comedy called "The Hills Have Thighs" in 2008. He saw listings for his movie to play on Cinemax and TMC ... so he called everyone he knew to make sure they all tuned in ... including a member of the House of Representatives. But his movie didn't play. Instead, his friends and family watched a soft-core porn version of 'THHT." In his lawsuit filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Bubba claims he was subjected to "extreme humiliation, mortification and emotional distress." He's suing HBO and Showtime -- which own Cinemax and TMC, respectively -- for unspecified damages. Lucky he didn't produce "Bones."   4/2/10   Happy April Fools Day! Cheers, Heath & Tony!! 4/1/10               God Designed Katy Perry For Bikinis Katy Perry is a walking boner factory, but she sucks when she talks.  That’s why pics of her in a bikini are perfect because they are silent and amazing... 3/31/10 PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Man & His Lion Remember to pick up after your Lion when you take it for a walk.   3/30/10     Katy Perry Covered In Thick Viscous Fluid Okay, Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it. And we like her. So much. She is unbelievably hot. And seems super cool. And she’s got THOSE. Holy Mackerel. Over the weekend she appeared at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards and, as is the tradition at that show, she got slimed. You must see her get covered almost head-to-toe in goo   If you ever wondered how sex with Shrek would end……   PICTURE OF THE DAY: Kim Kardashian   "Practice makes perfect Kim." 3/29/10

12 Things You Didn’t Know About Boobs!   3/29/10  For those of you interested in boobs, here are a list of 12 things that you may not know about the beloved female chesticles. 1. The world’s biggest boobs are a size 38kkk, as pictured above. Click more for the list. 2. There is a .ORG that fights for woman’s rights to be topless. 3. The left breast is usually larger. 4. Breasts are the first thing that men notice in a woman. 5. Men can lactate. 6. England is the country with the biggest breasts in Europe. 7. The average breast one pound. 8. Breasts get fat. 9. Breast augmentation can lead to suicide. 10. Breasts implants can also save you from death. 11. Breast implants are the number one cosmetic surgery in the US. 12. In China, you can major in Bra Studies. So there! Some vital boob information you may have been lacking in your life. For more details on these 12 facts, you can go here.

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Ke$ha And John Travolta WTF?….Ke$ha and John Travolta are the same person!!     3/29/10   Are Strip Clubs The Secret To Rock's Longevity? We tend to think strip club DJs’ playlists consist entirely of 80s metal hits. Who would of thought the songs that get the most play in these top-rated establishments are Hollywood Undead, Weezer, Muse and a slew of 99Rock bands? Bubbles Burbujas, a stripper who runs the site Stripper Tweets says bands like Hollywood Undead are club staples along with Shinedown, Buckcherry and Hinder. Who would have thought that Weezer’s ”Let It All Hang Out” or “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To” would be the epitome of “lap-danceable” songs? Well, the fact that these bands get a ton of play at strip clubs could be a reason for their longevity on charts. Bubbles continues to say, “Weezer = crowd pleaser, these days the guys who like Weezer are pretty much a part of our target audience. And by that I mean guys who were giant dorks about 15 years ago now have money.” Bubbles goes on to say, “I dance to Muse, I admit it, because the crowd loves it. I do now and always have thought they were a Styx for our time. (Also) Yeah Yeah Yeahs have always been big with strippers, for good reason — they have a beat.” We don’t know if we really agree with Miss Bubbles Burbujas that strip clubs are keeping mainstream rock on the charts, but we do agree with her when she says, “RAWK has been the music of the t*tty bar for 30 years, and someone is going to keep making it. It’s the music of good times and bar fights! And, male bonding through the homoerotic experience of the stripper–proxy lap dancing for your friend!” Read more of Bubbles Burbujas’ fascinating interview with The Village Voice’s Sound of the City blog by By Maura Johnston.   PS. Don't forget your $ingles, and Have a Great Weekend!! 3/12/10 PICTURE OF THE DAY: Ipod Reward Ha ha….BURN!     3/12/10   PICTURE OF THE DAY: Obama's Package Well We're guessing it’s a BIG package. lol. 3/11/10     Don't Drive and Shave...Down There! The day after this woman got a DUI, she got in an accident because she was shaving her privates, while driving her car to meet her boyfriend. She asked her ex-husband, who was her passenger, to hold the wheel while she shaved. A) Don’t do that. B) How did THIS woman/beast get an ex-husband AND a boyfriend???? 3/11/10 The 7 Ballsiest Ways Anyone Ever Quit Their Job! From Cracked.com Corey Haim Collapsed, Prescriptions Found... Sources say Haim got out of bed just before 1 AM and collapsed in front of his mother. She called 911 at 12:53 AM and Corey was taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead at 2:15 AM. Read more: TMZ     3/10/10

New Movie Trailers TRON Legacy, and Iron Man 2 3/10/10

Ten Random Reasons Why The Oscars Sucked! Last night, and well into the morning for East Coast viewers, the 82nd Annual Academy Awards were broadcast on ABC. One doesn’t “enjoy” the Oscars as much as one “survives” it. We would love a readout on how many viewers vow to never watch it again once the final credits roll. In no particular order, here are 10 things off the top of our head that irritated the crap out of us. Shut up Barbra Streisand! “Well, the time has finally come…” as she presented the Best Director Award to Hurt Locker’s Kathryn Bigelow. Relax with all the hype over a woman wining that one. The men are still 81-1. Shut up Kristin Stewart. Look, we know you are trying to “young up” the Oscars, guys, but nothing you have ever seen K-Stew do on or off the Twilight set should have led you to believe she was capable of presenting an award in an entertaining fashion. She slouched, mumbled, and coughed her way through her presentation, as usual. Freaking interpretive dance through the Best Score nominees. No time to let the Best Original Songs be sung during the show but there’s time to give us Hurt Locker 2: Electric Boogaloo? Two hosts do not equal twice as much comedy. Ok, so we admire Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin tremendously and think either man would have hosted a much better show solo than as a duo trading lines back and forth. It was a big room to navigate all the applause and comedy timing. Tighten it up, Ben Stiller. His wacky “I’ma gonna come out in the Avatar makeup” was fine. For the first minute. Then it went nowhere and Ben seemed to be ad libbing interminably , playing with his tail, and hoping to get out on a laugh. So, we'll applaud the effort though. Best Documentary Short? Best Animated Short? Best Live Action Short? No one saw any of them or cares to. I’m not saying this not a valid filmmaking genre but those prizes need to be awarded in a non-televised ceremony like most of the technical awards. Ditto for Best Sound and Best Costumes. Good God. Important for making movies, yes, but not on our TV. Hey, let’s start the show by bringing out the ten actors up for Best Acting prizes. But let’s not have them do anything. Just stand there like prize cattle at the state fair. The most boring speeches in the world happen each year at the Oscars. But why? Every single person who wins is in show business. Take a minute and think about how boring watching someone read a list of names is. Talk about your art, your passion, your struggle, something interesting. Thank your barber and your gardener privately. 3 hours and 45 minutes. 3 hours and 45 minutes. WTF! 3/8/10   Jimmy Kimmel Live! “Handsome Men’s Club” Featuring Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck And More!   Jimmy came out swinging right after the Oscars last night with his hilarious segment titled Handsome Men’s Club. Jimmy tries to hold onto the presidency of a club with Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Sting, Patrick Dempsey, Ethan Hawke, and Lenny Kravitz among its members. Leave it to Jim to assemble such an amazing cast for such a nutty bit. 3/8/10 PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Oscar High... Who was higher? The Oscar statue or Jeff Bridges?   3/8/10

It's National "No Cussing Week" To wrap up what one kid is trying to get California lawmakers to pass, National No Cussing Week! We thought, WTF!!  Why not pay tribute to someone who can't help but use profanity! Tourettes Guy!! Enjoy! 3/5/10  PICTURE OF THE DAY: Chug! Chug! Chug! "Have a good weekend!"     3/5/10   PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Snowman   "Yes you will...Yes you will."   3/4/10   VIDEO OF THE DAY: 3/3/10  Reporter gets more than just "the Fear" during an interview... ...White pants might not have been such a great idea...

HELP WANTED:  Drinking Songs for the Month O' March! Email Us Your Favorite Songs Now:  H&T@WFRD.com March is an outstanding month for countless reasons. Rather than name them all right now, let me start with this: St. Patrick’s Day; hands down our favorite holiday of all time. It’s all about drinking, no one feels broke, lonely, suicidal or under any pressure at all to love thy neighbor. Don’t get me wrong, we love Christmas too, but honestly, it is one huge money-sucking holiday! So, we have begun putting together our March playlist in honor of the best holiday of all time and we could use your help crafting it to perfection. That’s right, WE need YOU to help me put together the ultimate March playlist.   The following is a list of songs that we listen to mostly during the month of March. They fit March very well and if you pay close attention, there is a recurring theme. You’ll find a heavy dose of Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly... Now remember, March is NOT about giving or receiving gifts, it’s not about dysfunctional families gathering around a turkey or a grill, it’s not about chocolate hearts or champagne kisses at midnight either. March is about celebrating the color green and drinking like your Irish. (Even though your not.) We'll start with our all-time favorite “March” song:     Dropkick Murphys - “Kiss Me I’m Sh*tfaced” Gutthermouth – “High Balls” Flogging Molly – “F*ck You I’m Drunk” Buck-O-Nine – “Drink and Fight” Metallica – “Whiskey In The Jar” Flogging Molly – “Drunken Lullabies” Dropkick Murphys – “Flannigan’s Ball” Against Me! “Pints Of Guinness Makes You Strong”   Irish Rovers – “The Drunk Scotsman” Johnny Cash – “Danny Boy” The Pogues – “Whiskey You’re The Devil” Dead Kennedys – “Too Drunk To F*ck” These are just a few of our favorite March drinking songs. We have many more to last me throughout the year, but WE want YOU to add to our list of songs to get sloberknockered too. Please, let us all gather amongst friends and sings these songs like the obnoxious drunks that March expects us to be... 3/2/10       JAY LENO RETURNS:  Leno Crushes Letterman in Late Night TV Ratings... Updated: in the local people meter markets Leno was twice as popular with adults 18-49, scoring a 2.0 rating vs a 1.0 rating for Letterman. In the metered market houshold ratings between 11:30p-12:30a Jay Leno’s return to The Tonight Show dominated Leterman and Late Show.  Leno had a 5.4/14 (household rating/share) to Letterman’s 3.0/8. Sure, Leno’s first night back (and perhaps first week or two back) is likely inflated by a post-Olympic halo, but the early indication is “all is forgiven.” Nightline had a 3.4/8 between 11:30p-12:00a. While much higher than Conan’s Q4 average, these numbers were down ~25% from the heavily promoted debut of Conan O’Brien last June Note these are household ratings and not the 18-49 ratings we typically report.  We should have the local people meter data for the 18-49 data a bit later in the morning. 9:07am Pacific Update: More on the Adults 18-49 Ratings In the 25 markets with Local People Meters, “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” (2.0/9) ranked #1 among the major networks in the time period over “Late Show” (1.0/4), “Nightline” (1.5/6) and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (0.9/5).  The “Tonight” margin over “Late Show” in adults 18-49 in the Local People Meter markets is 100 percent. Nobody should be surprised at all about the numbers for Leno’s first night back. The real test will be where things are in a month or two. 3/2/10 "Hockey Is Canada's Game!"  But Not By Much...  Going into the Olympics, nobody expected the U.S. Men’s Hockey team to even win a medal, but they went into Sunday’s game against Canada guaranteed at least a silver. Before the game, the announcers said that only 2-3 of the Americans would have made the Canadian hockey team. Well we wonder if that’s what the athletes from the Canadian team thought at the end of regulation, tied 2-2, thinking about the overtime period to come. It’s probably best that Sidney Crosby, maybe the NHL’s best player, scored the game winner in overtime to secure the gold medal for the Canadian Hockey team. Remember, If you lose at hockey in Canada...What are you left with? Just American pick-up trucks and mullets. ...and now the best song ever about Canada!  3/1/10   The Captain Of The Danish Curling Team CRIES after Match! From Yahoo Sports: “A Danish curler was brought to tears after a boisterous Canadian crowd intentionally distracted her during crucial shots in her team’s match against Canada.”  Yep. This past Friday on CNBC, the home of all the sports NBC knows you won’t watch, there was a Curling match between Canada and Denmark. The crowd was stomping their feet and making some noise. And the Captain of the Danish team missed two shots. And CRIED. And then blamed it on the crowd for being too loud!! That…just…happened. OK. Now it’s on. Curling, you and I have had a rough dating period, but now I know it’s not gonna work. F**K you Curling! 1) The captain of your team is NOT a “skipper” or “skip”. F U. I did a Google search on “skipper” and Wikipedia  said “Skipper (boating), a person who has command of a vessel”. Unless you’re on a f**king boat with T-Pain,, you’re NOT a “skipper”. The second listing for “skipper” was for “Skippers Seafood and Chowder House”. So you could work there. But you don’t. You F-ing Curl. 2) YOU DON’T CRY. 3) See #2. 4) You don’t blame the crowd for making noise. EVER. NEVER. Not once. Kobe Bryant does that? Or Peyton Manning? Or Derek Jeter? Their respective leagues would give them the death penalty. After the match, Dupont (the Danish “skip”) told reporters: “I could not control the weight on the last shot in the 10th. It should have been way slower, but when there are 6,000 people yelling, it’s just so hard to focus. You’re trying, but it’s just not the same as if it was silent.” REALLY?? IT’S NOT THE SAME AS IF IT WAS SILENT???  Don’t go to the F-ing Olympics.  If you want “silence”, maybe..I don’t know… read a book.. Wait a minute! They don’t play in front of crowds like that back home??? I always thought curling was like soccer in America. Tiny here because of the NBA/NFL/MLB, but huge every place else. It’s NOT????? If it doesn’t draw crowds like this in Denmark, then why are you forcing it down our throats?? The “window-licker” captain of team Denmark went on in the interview. She said ““If they were yelling this much when Cheryl was throwing, that would be more fair.” You know who “Cheryl” is? No? Of course you don’t because you don’t watch this dumb s**t. Cheryl is the captain of team Canada. The Danish cry-baby was actually suggesting that the crowds at sporting events should yell and cheer the same amount for both sides, “just so it’s fair”. Wait…hold it…just a second…here it is… John Leicester of the AP points out, rightly, that most other sports in the Olympics risk life and limb. Downhill skiiers? Sno-Cross? Snowboarding?  Skeleton? Hockey?  Speed skating? Hell, even Ice-Skating, which I hate, have a large amount of disaster that’s  possible with every run.  That’s why it’s so exhilarating  to win. “In Curling (John writes) they pack lunches.” For Picnics. For reals. The Chinese women brought strawberries for their mid-match feast Monday. Their opponents, the Russians, ate together from a plastic bowl of various fruits. The Swiss had plates of sliced melon, prettily arranged like the rays of the sun, with a pile of chopped bananas in the middle.” Here’s John’s summary: “I’d Rather Pull Out My Own Teeth Than Watch More Olympic Curling” I couldn’t have said it better myself. 2/26/10 POLE DANCING - The Next Olympic Sport? …and it could potentially happen. A petition is circulating for a test event at the 2012 Olympics in London, with a formal event following at the 2016 games in Rio De Janeiro. While most people associate pole dancing with stripping, it does have a nonsexual side that focuses on the fitness aspect of it. It’s been added as a fitness course in gyms all across the country, appeared on shows like Oprah, and has international competitions staged in several countries. While the pole dance competition would obviously exclude stripping, it would embrace the athleticism and gymnastics involved with the sport. As long as the hot women don’t get replaced by circus performers and small gymnasts, this event will draw even more of a spectacle than our beloved curling. However, it may be a long shot for strippers pole dancers worldwide. The Olympic committee is a strict one, having recently sent Scotty Lago (US Snowboarding Bronze Medalist) home after some insinuating photos surfaced after he was awarded his medal. Click here to see the photos. If the pole dancers can convince the Olympic Committee to add them as a sport, it would almost guarantee higher TV ratings for future events. Will the WOW factor edge out the negativity attached to this sport? Let’s hope so. Help this dream become a reality for all and sign the petition here. 2/25/10 PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Bad License Plate Idea... This may not be the best idea for a personalized plate. Just sayin'...   2/24/10   Our Top 10 Sexiest Olympians From The Vancouver Winter Games There are a LOT of hot chicks in the Olympics this year. A LOT.  Our top 10 list coming up… But first, every Olympic year the host city builds the Olympic Village, housing for athletes from all over the world, and its residents are the strongest, fastest, most competitive and most confident men and women in the world. Mostly young and mostly single, they do what young and single people do… Each other. So the Vancouver organizers stockpiled 100,000 condoms to have on hand for the 18 days of the Olympics. That’s roughly 14 for each of the 7,000 athletes, trainers, and coaches, excluding the Curlers of course.       It’s also cute how the U.S. Curling Team got involved with their own condom design, as if condoms are needed for their “athletes.” It sure is a risqué design. See?  Because  one of the things the “skip” will yell is “Hurry Hard!” For those of you that don’t know the “sport” he’s yelling at the janitors because the giant puck thing is going too slow, and it’s time to sweep up and turn out the lights. They’ve gotta hit the afternoon buffet and head on over for Bingo and pudding. And lights out at 6PM.     The Sexiest Olympian in Vancouver: #1: Lindsey Vonn       Lindsey is #1 partially because she’s beautiful, and partially because just before she races, she’s got crazy “I might kill you” eyes. Her eyes get all bonkers.  Sexiest Olympians in Vancouver: #2 – Allison Baver, U.S. speed skater    Sexiest Olympians in Vancouver: #3: Elena Hight, U.S. snowboarder       Sexiest Olympians in Vancouver:  #4 – Gretchen Bleiler, U.S. snowboarder     Sexiest Olympians In Vancouver: #5 -  Ashleigh McIvor, Canadian ski crosser    Sexiest Olympians At The Vancouver Games: #6:- Faye Gulini, U.S. snowboard crosser     Sexiest Olympians at the Vancouver Games:: #7 – Tanith Belbin, U.S. ice dancer       Sexiest Olympians in Vancouver: #8 – American skier Julia Mancuso        Sexiest Olympians In Vancouver: #9 – British skier Chemmy Alcott      Sexiest Olympians in Vancouver: #10 – US snowcross expert Lindsey Jacobellis       Bonus for Sketch and anyone with a man-crush: Speed Skater Apollo Ohno   2/23/10     Greatest Advertisement Ever! No one likes to sit through commercials. That’s one of the reasons that channel surfing is such an immensely popular activity. However, every once in a while a commercial comes along that is so outstanding, so irreverent, so refreshingly ridiculous, that the fear of missing it causes us to put down the remote control and wait for it to air with bated breath. The new Old Spice commercial is THAT commercial. It’s the kind of commercial that makes even the most straight edge person feel as if they had just smoked a big fat fatty,(that’s a term for a  marijuana cigarette for those of you that don’t speak stoner). We would like to personally congratulate the think tank behind that creation of advertising genius. I want to know it. Verbatim. We want to recite it at concert halls and shout it from roof tops. To stand on the corner of Wheelock and Main St in Hanover and act it out after a late night of boozing with friends. We want others to recognize its genius and act along. It is the best thing ever. You’ve seen it a million times I’m sure. During the Super Bowl, during the Olympics, in between Jack Bauer torture scenes during 24…You’ve seen it a million times and still, it’s not enough. Kudos to the actor who so poignantly delivers these lines as though they were hand delivered from God specifically for him to recite. Isaiah Mustafa, you rule! “I’m on a horse”. 2/22/10 PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Pug Or Bread Is this a Pug or a loaf of Bread?   2/19/10     Giant Boobs! Hot Chick! Soccer players are like coke dealers.  They are mostly classless Eurotrash that dress like sh*t. They also always get ridiculously hot chicks.  One of those said chicks is Cheryl Cole. She used to be Cheryl Tweedy until she married some sh*thead named Ashley Cole.  She’s in the pop group “Girls Aloud” but more importantly SHE IS SUPER HOT AND HAS GIANT CANS!!!!  2/18/10 PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Too Fat To Fly Should Director Kevin Smith have been kicked off a flight for being fat? Let us know at 643-ROCK 2/17/10   PICTURE OF THE DAY:  We Heard It Was Fat Tuesday Everyone was buzzing around the office today talking about Fat Tuesday, the day that kicks-off Mardi Gras. But after hearing about actor/director Kevin Smith being removed from a Southwest flight because he was simply “too large,” we were inspired to upload this disgusting fat body...We'll call him "Gomer Pile"! 2/16/10

THE SNUGGIE IS DEAD!!  2/16/10   The Snuggie, the “blanket with arms” has had a good run. Weezer wore them onstage during some of their concerts. They sold like wildfire. Somehow they were able to convince people that “blankets slip and slide all over” AND when the phone rings “your arms are trapped under the blanket”. Those two things CANNOT be true at the same time. Either the blanket slips around OR it traps your arms. But somehow people, like sheep, just fell right into place and were fooled into buying this bulls**t. No more. There’s a new kid in town and it’s gonna dominate the hell out of the Snuggie. It’s gonna kill the Snuggie and then pee on it.  First it's the Snuggie...  Now, the Snuggie is being straight up abused and disrespected by the “Hoodie Footie Snuggle Suit”. F*ck you Snuggie. Check this out.   The models are hot. It has footie’s AND a hood. RIP Snuggie. You might wanna just slip away into the night so as to not be embarrassed in public. You got served.

VOD: How To Report The News with Charlie Brooker     2/15/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Girls Love C**ks   "...These girls sure do..."     2/5/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  New Controller Allows Gamers A More Hands On Experience... "...nuff said!"   2/4/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Country Star Taylor Swift Cares About Her Grammys...     Whoops! My Bad...       2/3/10

The Oscars:  The Nominees are in: Check out the complete List Here!       2/2/10

Rip Torn Allegedly Ripped AGAIN!  SALISBURY, Conn. -- Rip Torn was arrested on Friday night for an alleged break-in attempt at a Connecticut bank, the state police department confirmed to Access Hollywood. According to a statement from state police, the actor, whose real name is Elmore Torn, was charged with carrying a firearm without a permit, carrying a firearm while intoxicated, first-degree burglary, first-degree trespassing and third-degree criminal mischief following an alleged forced entry at a Litchfield Bancorp building in Salisbury, Conn. His alleged break-in set off an alarm at approximately 9:42 PM and he was arrested shortly thereafter when troopers from Connecticut State Police Troop B arrived on the scene. Police further stated that Torn was in possession of a loaded revolver at the time of the arrest. He was held on a $100,000 bail and is scheduled for a February 1 court date. A rep for the star did not immediately respond to requests for comment from Access. The arrest was not his first — he has faced a number of DUI charges, including a December 2008 arrest that produced a now infamous, wild-haired mug shot. The Oscar-nominated actor, best known for his role as Artie on “The Larry Sanders Show,” has most recently appeared on screen on NBC’s “30 Rock” as Don Geiss, the boss of Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), and in the films “Happy Tears” and “August.” 2/1/10

Heavy Metal Baby 2/1/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Aquarium Face   HAHAHAHA!  Remember to change your Aquarium water every 7-10 days!         1/29/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Cheeseburger To Go   FML! They really HAVE thought of everything...     1/27/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Young Dong   I don't think we'll be eating here...     1/26/10

Gary Coleman Busted Following "Disturbance" at Home!!    “Whatchoo Talkin’ About Willis?,”              So that’s Gary Sunday, after being booked into a Utah jail. This story says the police were called after receiving reports of a “civil disturbance” but that he was arrested on a warrant for failing to appear in court in a previous case...   1/25/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY: Bathroom Instructions Bathrooms, now with instructions...(just in case you forgot!...)     1/22/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY: Tony is back on the show with his broken leg!     Tony would like to thank everyone who is helping him recover from his accident.  DHMC, Dartmouth Safety and Security, Dick's House, and his friends and family.      1/21/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Mo'nique's Legs   Golden Globe winner Mo’nique has some nice legs...NOT!!  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!       1/20/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY: Nick Cannon     Hey Nick Cannon. You sure are the man!         1/19/10

Tiger Woods is in Sex Rehab? Tiger Woods hasn’t been seen in public for almost 2 months now, and there are plenty of theories guessing why, but maybe it’s because he’s been in a sex rehab. Radar says… The troubled golf great checked into Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services, sources say. The clinic (is) considered one of the top in the nation for sexual addiction. According to the Web site for the facility, patients usually spend about six weeks in treatment. Hm. Hattiesburg is where the University of Southern Mississippi is, and that school has like 5,000 hot young white girls, most of them blond, and it’s always 900 degrees so they’re wearing next to nothing. It’s pretty much the last place on earth Tiger Woods needs to be. The only thing he’s gonna learn is how to sneak into a dorm. They might as well have meetings inside a Hooters. This would be like giving a fat person diet tips, but instead of printing them out you write them in icing on a cake. 1/15/10

Conan Who? Jay Who? The Real Late Night Story! With all the bitch-slapping going on between Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien these days (and for the record Heath and Tony are firmly on TeamCoco), let’s not lose sight of the bigger picture. Compared to Jimmy Kimmel they both suck! Of course we’ve always enjoyed Jimmy’s sense of humor, but he continues to get better every year. He does the best monologue in late night and is the best interviewer of all the men in suits.  1/15/10   Last night Jay made the mistake of inviting Jimmy to appear on his 10 at 10 segment and lived to regret it. Truth is David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon, and Craig Ferguson are all so much funnier than Leno that it is crazy to us how much time the nation spends caring whether he is on at 10pm, 11:35pm or never.

Conan Puts The Tonight Show Up For Sale On Craigslist This is perhaps the most brilliant and hysterically funny move in the history of mankind. Conan put The Tonight Show up for sale on Craigslist. NBC, You are really dumb for letting him go anywhere.  Check out the full listing here. 1/15/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY: Lane Kiffin Returns To USC University of Tennessee students are really happy that Lane Kiffin is returning to USC.   1/14/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  Steroids   Raise your hand if you’ve done steroids.     1/13/10

Sex robot focuses on appealing to the mind: LAS VEGAS – A New Jersey company says it has developed "the world's first sex robot," a life-size rubber doll that's designed to engage the owner with conversation rather than lifelike movement. 1/11/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  THE HORSE IS WATCHING...!!   "Have a good weekend... Remember, the Horse is Watching You...!!"   1/8/10

PICTURE OF THE DAY:  YO, BIG HEAD!! Sketch recently pointed out Heath's large face ...and while we could say.  Big Head = Ego!   No In Fact...He just has a Huge Head!      "Hey Mr. Cole, How's the Reception!?? HAHAHA!"   1/7/10

How many women did Warren Beatty really sleep with? Peter Biskind's new biography of Warren Beatty, "Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America," hasn't even hit bookstore shelves yet. But it's already caused an uproar after the New York Post started running some juicy excerpts from the book focusing on Topic A: Exactly how many women did the famous Hollywood lothario actually sleep with?... Heath Cole & Tony - had some of the dirt...   1/6/10